I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
