it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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