someone get that fucking seahorse.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
