so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize