WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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