i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
