chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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