She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
