My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
