i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
