am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
