Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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