Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I need to stop coming to work sober
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize