Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
