YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
