Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize