Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize