i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
