talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize