A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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