you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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