Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
