p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
