A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
