He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm really busy with my period
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