problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
