She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
