Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
