I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
