why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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