She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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