Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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