Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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