Jerry, you need to find god
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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