don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
a search helicopter?!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
