If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
