I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
