Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
