well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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