She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize