No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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