No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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