Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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