he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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