hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
