Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
