Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My hand turned me down
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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