I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
