I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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