i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
