I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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