I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
