Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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