is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
