and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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