this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
