I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
