So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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