We need to rekindle our bromance
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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