Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize