im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
