are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
