i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
