I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
