I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
