Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
